From the desk of General Secretary Comrade Galloway

February 3, 2008 at 9:50 pm (anti-semitism, fascism, Galloway, Jim D, stalinism, thuggery)

Dear Comrades,

You will know as well as I that bourgeois so-called “justice” is a decadent, Western snare and delusion, and that no comrade should have any illusions in it, controlled as it is by imperialism and Zionist conspirators. 

However, occasionally, our enemies in the Western judicial system become disorientated, and their Zionist masters temporarily lose control. Such was the situation when I won my famous victory against the Zionist neo-con Daily Telegraph, which had the audacity to accuse me of being in the pay of Comrade Saddam Hussein, the heroic leader of free Iraq – a man I admired and supported with no question of money or barrels of oil changing hands.

Comrades! I can once again announce that the evil machinations of the Zionists have been thwarted! The Electoral Commissioner has shown his independence from the forces of Zionism and imperialism by recognising that I, and embodied in myself, the forces of anti-imperialism world-wide, should have exclusive use of the Party name “Respect”.

This ruling will come as a body-blow to the revisionist, Trotskyite renegades under the Trotsky-fascist Reese and his epigone German – two former comrades I once made the mistake of praising as “Britain’s foremost left-wing power-couple”. Little did I know then,  that these Trotskyite revisionists were in thrall to imperialism and its international pay-masters, Zionism!

When the terrible news of the Reese/German Zionist conspiracy reached my ears, I -naturally – had no choice but to act. As the living embodiment of international anti-imperialism, you would expect no less of me, would you, comrades? I exposed the Reese/German Zionist plot for what it was, and (just to be on the safe side) also fired all my doctors.

Throughout the world, and especially in the Middle East, the very stars cried out “Oh Comrade George, you are our liberator, our Leader and our comrade! Whilst our daughters are being violated by the Crusader Zionist imperialists, and the very heavens weep, you alone can lead us into the non-Zionist future, in which all non-Zionists will be free to live in harmony with other non-Zionists!”

When I heard this cry, I literally exploded with rage, and vowed, there and then, to devote my entire life to seeking justice for all the world’s peoples, except (of course) the Zionists. And Americans. And I don’t much like Australians, either.

Wisely, the ex-Trotskyite Alan Thornett, publicly confessed to his counter-revolutionary past, which included poisoning wells and sabotaging Comrade Healy’s anti-Zionist surveillance, and so I was able to pardon this misguided comrade and offer him a place on the Central Committee, alongside other ex-Trotskyites such as Comrades Hoverman and Ovenden, both of whom have also publicly confessed to counter-revolutionary activity and criticised themselves before the masses.

Workers, peasants and intellectuals! I now call upon you to bend every nerve, sinew and muscle to ensure that Comrade Livingstone is triumphant in his epic struggle against the forces of reaction, embodied by the arch-criminal Johnson. Let our past differences with Comrade Livingstone now be put to one side, as we have signed a Pact that will ensure a resolute and implacable  People’s Front against the forces of imperialism and Zionism. I expect that all comrades will observe the necessary discipline, and offer Comrade Livingstone full support in his heroic struggle against the forces of Zionism, imperialism and their ultra-left allies.

Yours in solidarity,

G. Galloway, Gen Sec.

P.S:

Comrades! News has just reached me that the revisionist and pro-Zionist agent Thornett dares defy me on the question of backing Comrade Livingstone. So this is how he repays me!! The miserable ex- (or NOT SO EX???) Trotskyite Zionist will rue the day he dared defy me, and the masses – and so will his minescule and demoralised band of followers. They will all be denied winnable seats as ‘Respect’ candidates at the next general election. And Salma will snub them. They’ll confess to being Zionist agents and beg for rehabilitation, just you see!

G.G. 

 PPS: Any unattached, reasonably young and presentable Palestinian women who can word-process (or are willing to learn), and would like a job as my secretary, please get in touch, and I’ll arrange an interview – G.G.

(All the above: as dictated to Jim Denham)

28 Comments

  1. voltaires_priest said,

    You’ve forgotten the bit about the “belly dancing” Arab leaders that he always does… same speech every time. Rather like (so I’m told) a political version of a 1980s cult comedian who only had three jokes, so his audiences were able to chant them along with him.

  2. RootlessCosmopolitan said,

    Glad you remembered The Doctors’ Plot !

  3. Harry Barnes said,

    Well done Comrade Galloway. I am impressed by the way you overcame Zionist, Imperialist and pseudo -Trotskyist blocking devices to get your way directly onto this blog. You are a true pussy of the people.

  4. Mikey said,

    Hysterical!

  5. question said,

    how id the Zionists get you to take and spend all that cash Comrade?

  6. Mikey said,

    Is this Galloway -Livingstone Pact, comparable to the Molotov-Ribentrop pact?

  7. Jim Denham said,

    Nah: one side of the Molotov-Ribentrop pact was anti-fascist (but playing for time).

  8. voltaires_priest said,

    On behalf of all the bloggers at Shiraz Socialist I’d like to welcome General Secretary Comrade Galloway to the site. We’ll obviously be benefitting from the Correct Thoughts of Comrade Galloway in future, and I look forward to his thoughts at this time as he discusses endorsing Ken Livingstone, the crimes of the SWP and the abortion issue in particular.

  9. modernityblog said,

    very funny

  10. John Angliss said,

    Jim Denham is hardly the archetypal attractive young Palestinian woman, but he can sure as hell word process…

  11. Renegade Eye said,

    How do you spell POPINJAY?

  12. tim said,

    The Comrade does satire well

    “Doctor” John Reid, my other former researcher, is nowadays to be found in the Westminster tea-rooms like a prize-fighter run to seed, which in a way is what he is.
    He sits regaling young lovelies a third of his age with his tales of derringdo and of his decade of struggle to kill the thing he loved – the cause of Labour.

    http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/comment/columnists/lifestyle-columnists/george-galloway/2008/02/04/wendy-s-house-is-collapsing-around-her-86908-20308808/

  13. Martin Ohr said,

    George, you forgot to mention the zionist conspiracy to cut the underseas cables denying the muslim world the right to see your face on youtube: http://liammacuaid.wordpress.com/2008/02/03/814/ (video about 3:15 mins in)

  14. twp77 said,

    Hahahaha – Jesus H. Christ!!! (as we say in the States)

  15. tim said,

    Do a google search on “internet cables zionist” and you’ll find sites such as “New York White Pride” agree with the Comrade.
    DO NOT LAUGH AT HIM

  16. modernityblog said,

    I hope that Shariz Socialist manages to interview Cmr. Galloway on a weekly basis, or other luminaries from the Respect (Galloway) camp

    Galloway’s pronouncements are pure entertainment

  17. KB Player said,

    So-called “humour” by imperialist lackey Denham applauded by lickspittle cronies. How many oil vouchers did your neo-con masters send you for this production, Denham?

  18. RootlessCosmopolitan said,

    KB Player said,

    “So-called “humour” by imperialist lackey Denham applauded by lickspittle cronies. How many oil vouchers did your neo-con masters send you for this production, Denham?”

    Was that satire KB ?

  19. KB Player said,

    Rootless – you are in a state of false consciousness if you cannot see that this kind of “humour” is objectively on the side of the bourgeois hegemony.

    Of course I’m taking the piss, Rootless. Though it’s a bit disturbing that people are still writing that kind of stuff in all seriousness.

  20. tim said,

    Some Zionists have claimed that Comrade George would not punt cheap internet conspiracy theories to an older and less Muslim audience.
    This is entirely untrue,and indeed,any related claims that speeches made by the Comrade when in the Middle East, conatin more references to “Arab Daughters being raped”,than when he is in Europe, are Zionist propaganda.

  21. RootlessCosmopolitan said,

    KB. I realised but as you say some people still come out with that kind of stuff , as you say – in all seriousness !

  22. faceless said,

    What’s the difference between you lot and the Tories sticking the knife in Thatcher? They were *expected* to be cunts!

  23. KB Player said,

    “What’s the difference between you lot and the Tories sticking the knife in Thatcher? ”

    Jim Denham is a lot funnier than Geoffrey Howe ever was.

  24. Lobby Ludd said,

    I am not a fan of Gorgeous, nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party.

    I think it is great that people spoof their leaders or pretenders to that.

    I look forward to spoofs of Sean Matgamna, Martin Thingy et al.

    (Just a hint to Jim D – these spoofs have to be both accurate (ish) and funny.)

    Early days, I guess.

  25. Roland Rance said,

    Tony, Hey Tony

    When do we get to shoot all the kulaks?

    Your comrade in Stalin,

    Roland Rance http://www.buggerance.blogspot.com

  26. tim said,

    Comrades and Mullahs

    On TV, by George

    His animal imitations alone could have earned him a regular slot on CBeebies, but George Galloway, the Respect MP for Bethnal Green & Bow, has secured himself a far meatier television slot.

    The controversial Left-winger has, I hear, been given a weekly place on Press TV, an English 24-hour news channel set up last year by the Iranian government.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml?xml=/opinion/2008/02/06/dp0601.xml

  27. Satire is dead « Shiraz Socialist said,

    [...] fundamentalist, religious outburst that has rendered any further attempts by myself to satirise him, redundant. As Tom Lehrer (allegedly) said when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize [...]

  28. Roland Rance said,

    I love sucking on Comrade George’s hemorrhoids!

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