Scientologophobia Watch: The Internet

July 22, 2010 at 7:19 pm (blogosphere, cults, Lib Dems, Max Dunbar, religion, scientology)

This is a guest post by the Church of Scientology UK Media Relations Team

Some might say that the complaint against Cllr John Dixon was a little harsh. A few of our members have privately expressed the view that submitting a formal complaint to the Public Services Ombudsman for Wales about a light-hearted statement on a microblogging service was an overreaction that could prove counterproductive as it may generate a lot of bad publicity that would in the end cancel out any positive outcome from the complaint itself.

We know who these people are. They will be spoken to.

Quite apart from Cllr Dixon’s well-documented meetings with Lord Xenu in his volcano prison on Complex 9, his Scientologophobic rant was an assault on our religious freedom and it is right to bring him to justice through the appropriate legal channels (as well as the good old Fair Game policy).

Our case against him illustrates the double-edged sword that is the Internet. In the right hands, the net can be a source of creativity and development for all Scientologists. In the hands of Suppressive Persons, it can be used to demonise Scientologists and defame our religion. Dixon’s lies have been repeated many times on Twitter and Facebook (or ‘XenuBook’ as it should be called) often by shrill atheist/sceptics who seek to mock Scientology and undermine religious faith in general.

We are therefore launching the L Ron Hubbard Posthumous Dictat #373623/A (Renounciation of Suppressive Media Technologies) which declares all social networking users and staff Fair Game. Any Scientologists with accounts on these sites are advised to close them immediately and register with the L Ron-approved ‘Thetanbook’, a friendly, accessible service on which users can post meditations on the teaching of Dianetics in a user-friendly 10,000 words minimum format.



(end communication)

Permalink Leave a Comment

Haiti: the vultures descend

January 22, 2010 at 5:57 pm (cults, Max Dunbar, scientology)

There are faith-based humanitarian organisations who are in Haiti now and are doing a brave and necessary job. And then there are the Scientologists. It appears that John Travolta has pledged supplies, medics and ‘volunteer ministers’ from the Church. Apparently these last will be there to provide ‘spiritual assistance’ to earthquake victims.

Now, the history of Scientology suggests that any aid the Church provides will be extremely conditional. Marina Hyde provides the context:

L Ron [Hubbard] personally decreed the strategy he called ‘Casualty Contact’, in which he advised Scientologists to scan newspapers for reports of accidents or bereavements, searching for ‘people who have been victimised one way or another by life’.

Stipulating that one way to do this was to trawl hospitals, Hubbard declared of the ambulance-chasing Scientologist that, ‘He should represent himself . . . as a minister whose compassion was compelled by the newspaper story concerning the person [. . .] However, in handling the press he should simply say that it is a mission of the church to assist those who are in need of assistance. He should avoid any lengthy discussions of Scientology and should talk about the work of ministers and how all too few ministers these days get around to places where they are needed. It’s straight recruiting!’

Casualty Contact has since modulated into the Volunteer Ministers programme, whose yellow tents are increasingly visible at high-profile disaster sites, and often enlivened by special appearances by their celebrity adherents. Within these tents Scientologists administer the aforementioned Touch Assists, whose purpose is to ‘speed the Thetan’s ability to heal or repair a condition with his body’.

After 9/11, aid agencies at Ground Zero voiced concern that the Volunteer Ministers had displayed their leaflets around the disaster site and operated in the restricted area without authorisation until this was pointed out to the police, who then denied them access. Two days after the tragedy, and presenting themselves as an organisation called National Mental Health Assistance, representatives of the Church of Scientology duped Fox News into running the church’s freephone number for five hours on the bottom of the screen, apparently in the belief that it was the official outreach hotline. Fox News removed it after an irate intervention from the real National Mental Health Association.

‘The public needs to understand that the Scientologists are using this tragedy to recruit new members,’ the president of the NMHA stated. ‘They are not providing mental health assistance.’

Au contraire, say the Scientologists, who claim they provide a unique brand of ‘meaningful help’ during catastrophes. They were there after the tsunami, after Katrina – with added Travolta – and in Beslan, before being asked to leave after the local Russian health ministry judged their techniques unhelpful to already severely traumatised children.

And of course they were there after the 7 July attacks, when an undercover BBC investigation taped the leader of the London branch of the Church’s anti-psychiatry movement laughing that their role in the immediate aftermath of the bombings was ‘fighting the psychiatrists; keeping the psychs away [from survivors]’. One survivor who happened to have mental health training voiced his shock that Scientologists had attempted to recruit him and others.

What sort of numbers they’ll do in Haiti remains to be seen, but hats off to Travolta and the church leaders for deploying in this way. As for Scientology’s most famous face, do recall ‘the Mr Cruise response to 9/11’ – setting up the First New York Hubbard Detox project where firemen who had breathed in the World Trade Centre dust were encouraged to submit to the ‘Purification Rundown’, discarding their medication and taking endless saunas along with high doses of niacin, much to the despair of their doctors.

From the creepy to the ridiculous, there’s this item on ABC about an American group called Faith Comes By Hearing that is sending Bibles – ‘solar-powered audible Bibles that can broadcast the holy scriptures in Haitian Creole to 300 people at a time.’

The Faith Comes By Hearing organisation says its Bible, called the Proclaimer, delivers ‘digital quality’ and is designed for ‘poor and illiterate people’.

It says 600 of the devices are already on their way to Haiti.

The Albuquerque-based organisation says it is responding to the Haitian crisis by ‘providing faith, hope and love through God’s word in audio’.

The audio Bible can bring the ‘hope and comfort that comes from knowing God has not forgotten them through this tragedy,’ a statement on its website says.

Apparently, this gadget will work in jungle, in desert, and on the moon.

(This is the link to donate to Haiti earthquake relief)

Update: Jon from Faith Comes By Hearing has appeared in the Shiraz comments:

Thanks for your thoughts on the solar-powered audio Bibles.  I can see where you may think this is not a good approach, but our organization has been working with the Haitians since 1986, providing them free audio Scriptures in their own language.

The moon comment was someone making mention that they didn’t require electricity.  That was a dumb bullet point on the website, thanks for letting me know.  We took it off.

Besides, these audio Bibles are still in the states enroute to dozens of relief groups who have called ASKING for them.  The Haitians have been preyed upon for a long-time by those interested in exploiting their natural resources and impoverishing their people.  We believe the people of Haiti are that nation’s most precious resource and we desire to empower them with the Scriptures in which they believe in a format they can use.  Roughly half the nation is unable to read, so giving them the Bible in a format they can use–audio, is completely reasonable.

Faith Comes By Hearing

Permalink 7 Comments

Scientology is easy meat…what about the real religions?

October 31, 2009 at 5:57 pm (Champagne Charlie, Guardian, religion, scientology)

Marina Hyde, in todays’s Graun, notes with approval the various clobberings that the Church of Scientology has suffered recently. In France, they’ve been found guilty of fraud while over in Hollywood director Paul Haggis has broken with them after his wife was ordered by the “Church” to “disconnect” with him. Now Scientology’s chief spokesman has stomped out of a TV interview with Martin Bashir after being pressed on the alien stuff. Best of all it’s on it’s on You Tube.

But, as Hyde suggests, giving the fringe nutters of Scientology a tough time is relatively easy: “Imagine for a moment a Bashir-type interview with a cardinal. ‘So,’ he might inquire, ‘you’re saying that by some magic the communion wafer actually becomes the flesh of a man who died 2,000 years ago, a man who – and I don’t want to put words into your mouth here – we might catagorise as an imaginary friend who can hear the things you’re thinking in your head? And when you’ve done that, do you mind going over the birth control stuff?

“What a shame that we see rather fewer of these exchanges, however amusing and useful a sideshow Scientology may be.”

You don’t think that the excellent Ms Hyde could possibly be taking a sideswipe at her own paper and its penchant for giving a platform to  religious proselytizers in general and – especially – apologists for Catholicism and Islam like Maddie Bunting, Karen Armstong and Terry Eagleton?


Permalink 9 Comments

Scientologophobia Watch: Burqa Trouble

July 9, 2009 at 12:30 pm (anonymous, cults, Islam, Max Dunbar, religion, scientology)

This is a third guest post by the Church of Scientology UK Media Relations Team

You may have heard on the MSM that France’s Suppressive President, Nicholas Sarkozy, wants to ban the burqa.

Comrades on the UK Left have been vocal and energetic in their condemnation of this attack on religious freedom.

But the burqa ban is not the worst of Sarkozy’s crimes. As we recently reported, his country doesn’t even recognise Scientology as a proper religion and wants to have the Church banned. This is a Scientologophobic campaign of persecution with the aim, no doubt, of forcing Scientologists to toil for thousands of years in Lord Xenu’s intergalactic salt mines.

Scientologists and Muslims have a lot in common. Both our faiths have been inspired by great leaders, Muhammed and the prophet L Ron Hubbard (peace be upon him). Both have equally valid truth claims and millions of followers who live their lives according to the dictates of the faith without any coercion whatsoever. In fact you might say that Scientology is basically Islam – with aliens!

So why will those who defend the rights of Muslims to wear religious dress, not defend the rights of Scientologists to practice their religion?   

Why the double standard?

But don’t worry – you can still help us fight the evil forces of the Sarkozy-Xenu axis.

We call upon our comrades on the UK left to show solidarity with their Scientologist brothers and sisters by holding noisy demonstrations outside the French embassy, forming front groups with various discredited academics and career activists, writing angry letters to the Guardian, sending viral petitions around social networking sites and, of course, by pledging their entire life savings to the Church of Scientology.

Together we can win this battle. 



Sarkozy: Lord Xenu’s faithful servant

Permalink 37 Comments

Scientologophobia Watch: The French

May 27, 2009 at 7:01 am (cults, Max Dunbar, religion, scientology)

This is a second guest post by the Church of Scientology UK Media Relations Team

You will all remember that since the UK Crown Prosecution Service gave our Church the same legal protection as mainstream religions, the Church of Scientology has been able to set up ‘Scientologophobia Watch,’ a lively interactive web forum on which people who insult our religion can be named, shamed and Fair Gamed.

Now, via the Scientologophobic website Butterflies and Wheels (yes, Ophelia, we’ll get to you in time!) the Church has discovered the biggest Scientologophobes of all – the nation of France. The BBC reports that: ‘The Church of Scientology has gone on trial in the French capital, Paris, accused of organised fraud.’

Worse, Scientology isn’t even recognised as a proper religion in that evil country. If the Frenchies win this could mean that the Church could be banned in France.

This is the prosecution’s wafer-thin case:

The case centres on a complaint by a woman who says she was pressured into paying large sums of money after being offered a free personality test.

The church, which is fighting the charges, denies that any mental manipulation took place.

France regards Scientology as a sect, not a religion, and the organisation could be banned if it loses the case.

It is the first time the church has appeared as a defendant in a fraud case in France. Previous court cases have involved individual Scientologists.

The woman at the centre of this case says she was approached by church members in Paris more than 10 years ago, and offered a free personality test. But, she says, she ended up spending 21,000 euros ($29,400, £18,400) on lessons, books and medicines she was told would cure her poor mental state.

Her lawyers are arguing that the church systematically seeks to make money by means of mental pressure and the use of scientifically dubious ‘cures’.

A lawyer for the church, Patrick Maisonneuve, said: ‘We will contest every charge and prove that there was no mental manipulation.’

The church’s spokeswoman in France said it was being ‘hounded’ by the French courts and that its members were facing persecution.

€21,000 is indeed a ridiculous amount – that wouldn’t even get you five minutes on the e-meter in these troubled economic times. If you think eighteen grand is steep, you should see the amount Tom Cruise has shelled out over the years.

And it’s worth it! Like all non-Scientologists, this woman will have been infested by the souls of aliens that were murdered by the evil galactic overlord Xenu. I mean, does she think we can just wave a magic wand and make the body thetans go away? Dream your little dream, baby! It takes years of auditing to reach the status of ‘operating thetan’.

All true believers know that you cannot find salvation in the blink of an eye. The religious journey is long and arduous. It can’t be done in a single step – whether you are a Christian, a Muslim, a Buddhist or a Jew, the quest takes time, integrity, effort, sacrifice, patience and duty (and loads of money if you’re a Scientologist!)

And religions don’t reveal their secrets to just anyone. It’s widely known that you need to be at least an Arch-Deacon to learn the story of Christ’s resurrection, and that only imams with twenty years’ service are allowed a copy of the Quran.

It is all too clear that Premier Sarkozy has formed an unholy alliance with the warlord Xenu and has made at least two diplomatic visits to his mountain prison in Quadrant 9. Together France and Xenu’s empire are engaged into a militant secularist crusade against religious freedom.

But don’t worry, we at Scientologophobia Watch are fighting back. We have already succeeded in persuading the UK government to rename French Fries ‘Xenu Fries’. French mustard is now known throughout Britain as ‘Xenu Mustard’. And all future DVD releases of the classic film The French Connection will now carry the motion picture’s real title: The Xenu Connection.

But that’s not all – we’ve followed up with a major poster campaign to show the world who really runs France.


The famous tricolore flag of France. Squint carefully and you will see the eight-armed trident of Xenu’s imperial federation.


The Eiffel Tower. Or to call it by its REAL name… the XENU TOWER!!!


French people eat frogs every single day. Xenu is known to have descended from the Frog People of Alpha Centauri.  COINCIDENCE?!?

But that’s not enough – if we are going to win the battle against religious persecution we need YOUR help.

What we need you to do is to contact your MP and urge them to lobby for a nuclear first strike on France. It only takes five minutes and there are standard email templates available on the Scientologophobia Watch website. We need YOU to do this because the Church of Scientology doesn’t have an independent nuclear capability of its own (yet!) 

With a Trident missile pointed at their asses the French will soon have to recognise Scientology as a religion or be annihilated! (Although let’s face it, a nation that doesn’t recognise Scientology isn’t worth living in anyway!!!)

Make no mistake – the entire population of France is Fair Game. We can win this fight – but we can only do it with YOUR HELP.



(end communication)

Permalink 17 Comments

To our new Scientologist friend

March 15, 2009 at 1:38 am (cults, scientology, voltairespriest, wankers)

Hey Louanne!

For this, this and this (all taken from the putrid Scientology front website to which all your comments link), please go jump into a pit full of Operating Thetans. Oh, I say that because of this, this and this.

Permalink 3 Comments

Scientologophobia Watch

March 12, 2009 at 5:35 pm (cults, Max Dunbar, religion, scientology, secularism, strange situations)

This is a guest post from the Church of Scientology UK Media Relations Team

You may have heard that the Crown Prosecution Service has given the Church of Scientology the same legal protection as other mainstream religions like Christianity and Islam. This means that people who attack, abuse and threaten our faith can be prosecuted under the Racial and Religious Hatred Act 2006.

This is a long overdue decision and great news for Scientologists in the UK and beyond. For too long the UK CoS has looked on with envy at Jews and Muslims enjoying full legal protection from assault and discrimination, whilst we Scientologists have been laughed at in the street, turned away from shops, bars and hotels, suffered restricted access to job opportunities and civil justice, had the name of our founder L. Ron Hubbard denigrated and traduced and our places of worship desecrated by Scientologophobic graffiti, demonstrations and arson attacks.

We all remember the shameful behaviour of the London teenager who displayed a hurtful and abusive placard outside our St Paul’s HQ. This thug held up a sign that described Scientology as a ‘dangerous cult,’ causing severe emotional distress to those who share our faith. Although the Metropolitan Police issued a summons to the boy the CPS were unable to prosecute him. Now, under the new legal protections, any similar ‘free speech martyrs’ will receive the justice they deserve.

No doubt the usual shrill atheist critics will be out in force complaining that Scientology does not deserve legal protection. Yet Scientology has customs and traditions dating as far back as 1954. It has brought enlightenment and succour to many different people over tens of years. Scientology has eight million followers around the world, including Mission Impossible star Tom Cruise. Yes, Tom Cruise. He starred in Mission Impossible. What have you done?

Some people say that the theories of Scientology are too bizarre to enjoy legal protection. But all faiths have aspects that seem ‘weird’ to people who are not open minded and spiritually aware. The idea that millions of years ago an evil alien overlord, called ‘Xenu,’ purged his galaxies of the surplus population, brought the exiled aliens to Earth and killed them with hydrogen bombs with the result that the discorporated alien souls have inhabited humans ever since as ‘body thetans,’ while Xenu himself remains alive in a space mountain prison, might seem a little crazy if you are not on the right ‘operating level’. But, you know, Catholics believe in something called ‘transubstantiation,’ which means that their communion bread and wine represents the body and blood of Christ. I mean, they think they’re eating Jesus. Hello?

Our same ‘secular fundamentalist’ critics will tell you that there’s no proof of the Xenu story. (And keep it to yourself – most people have to pay millions of dollars to get that far!) But, at the end of the day, does this matter? Every culture needs its little myths and delusions so that people can take comfort and communities can remain stable. Plenty of children believe in Santa Claus. Similarly, Scientologists all over the world have gained insight, maturity and self-esteem through spending many years, and many thousands of dollars, having murdered alien souls excised from their bodies, finally attaining the status of ‘operating thetan’.

People don’t understand how devastating it can be to Scientologists when people try to take their illusions away. As one proud member has said: ‘If it is not a religion, then what did I do with my two hundred thousand dollars and my 27 years of association and all those hours of study and counselling?’

Like people of all faiths Scientologists want to help our communities and minister to the weak and poor. The Church of Scientology runs numerous programmes in the areas of education, substance abuse and mental health – without relying on the evils of psychiatry. We applaud this government’s groundbreaking work on engagement with faith groups, particularly in regard to service delivery: we hope to meet with senior ministers to discuss future involvement in the exciting new world of faith-based welfare. Dianetics – coming to a housing association or mental health unit near you!

There have been malicious and false allegations about Scientology in the past. Critics allege that the Church is responsible for tax fraud, burglary, assault, false imprisonment, libel, violation of labour laws, weapons violations, extortion, harrassment, esponiage, criminal neglect, practising medicine without a licence – the list is endless. Perhaps some mistakes have been made but we must remember that all such errors are the responsibility of errant Scientologist fundamentalists who have misinterpreted or perverted the peaceful intent of the Fair Game policy.

Above all, in this materialistic, decadent and consumerist age Scientologists deserve solidarity. They are being persecuted by the agents of US/Zionist imperialism, particularly the IRS and the neocon cartoon South Park. Our Church deserves leftwing support just as much as Islam.

To that end we are setting up a website called ‘Scientologophobia Watch’ where people can ‘name and shame’ those Scientologophobes (or ‘Suppressive Persons’ as we like to say) complete with photographs and, hopefully, street addresses.

Together to the stars!


‘I’m gonna sue you… IN ENGLAND!’

Permalink 25 Comments

Farewell to the Chef

August 14, 2008 at 1:53 am (Champagne Charlie, cinema, music, scientology)

Polemical exchanges with fuckin’ idjeets like Father John “G” distracted my attention. This guy was, by all accounts, a very nice man. And made a major contribution to black music. Despite being a Scientologist. The following is via Bob:

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Isaac Hayes has died.

I have no clue about music, but I did like that of Isaac Hayes. One of my memories of Chicago is casting some aspersion or other on Mitt Romney–there’s someone not usually mentioned alongside the author of Shaft–because of his religion and getting an automatic and very American response from the woman that I was talking to that ‘that was his religion and his personal belief’.

It was a reminder of how the first amendment protects freedom of religion, not from it. I should have known better than to inadvertently challenge that freedom with my European catholic prejudices, even if we were getting off our faces in O’Briens on Wells at the time.

Hayes, by all accounts a decent man, was important in the progress of his cult towards sufferance, or even respectability. That’s all incidental however. His music is very human, and apparently grew of a very intimate knowledge of how music is made.

Here’s a link to someone who really knows what they are talking about to make the point clear. I won’t, for obvious reasons, attach my usual prayer for those who have passed on, but life was made a little better by Hayes’ works.

Permalink 1 Comment

Cult prosecutes teenager for telling the truth

May 23, 2008 at 6:44 am (cults, Free Speech, Human rights, scientology, voltairespriest)

I kid you not. Of course, it goes without saying that the cult in question is the Church of Scientology, who called out the City of London police to the entirely peaceful May 10th Anonymous protest, in order to arrest an unnamed 15 year-old who is now being prosecuted under the Public Order Act for carrying a placard that addressed the term cult to Scientology. Entirely appropriately, but why let the obvious get in the way of a good bit of litigation?

If you’d like to know more about this or upcoming actions against the cult of Scientology, please visit the Enturbulation site.

(h/t – John A)

Permalink 3 Comments

Who Cares About Scientology?

April 19, 2008 at 8:07 am (cults, scientology, voltairespriest)

Just in case anyone was wondering why I bother having a go at the Church of Scientology, I thought I’d post you a video which explains some of the manifold reasons for campaigning against that abusive organisation’s existence. The video was made following the March 15th Anonymous protests against the Church of Scientology, and in the run up to their April 12th protests, on which I posted previously. It’s long-ish relative to the average online clip, but it’s worth following through.

(h/t – Xenu TV)

Permalink 3 Comments

Next page »