Tunnock’s Teacakes: traitors to Scotland!

January 9, 2016 at 3:24 pm (Beyond parody, comedy, conspiracy theories, cyberspace, scotland)

By Dale Street

Tunnock’s teacakes are the latest victims of the super-patriotic wing of Scottish nationalism: Along with all other Tunnock’s products (caramel wafers, caramel logs and snowballs), they should now be boycotted by all true Scots.

The trigger for the call for a boycott is an advertising campaign on London Underground which Tunnock’s launched in the New Year. According to the Facebook page “Boycott the Companies That Scared Scotland” (21,360 likes):

“Tunnock’s are ditching the lion rampant from their branding, stating that they are not a Scottish biscuit, they are a Great British biscuit. This is the second time this company has pissed on Scotland, after funding a ‘No’ vote in 2014. What’s really petty is a millionaire interfering with a country’s democratic decision so he can sell more biscuits.”

The company was duly added to the list of companies to be boycotted for having “scared Scotland” in the 2014 referendum. The list already included the Daily Record, the BBC, BP, Marks and Spencer, B&Q, Sainsbury’s John Lewis and USDAW.

(Yes, USDAW is a trade union, not a company. But the difference between a trade union and an employer seems to be lost on many nationalists: If they’re British, everything else shades into insignificance.)

An SNP-cybernat definition of “Tunnock” quickly did the rounds on social media:

“Tunnock: A person who is embarrassed by their Scottish heritage; one who prefers their country to be ruled by another; an individual who betrays someone or something, such as a friend, cause or principle; a dick. See also Dobber and Bawbag.”

Nationalist enthusiasts took to social media to express their support for a boycott:

“Tunnocks can get to fuck. Turncoat traitor wanks.” “I hope not one person in Scotland buys your products after abandoning the lion to appeal to England.” “Will not be buying any more fk tunnock.” “Established 1890. Sold out 2016.” “Rebranding is one thing. What Tunnocks did was a brazen rejection of Scotland.” “Let’s hope it cost him millions. We can only hope it puts him out of business.”

In fact, it turned out that some “Yes” supporters had been boycotting Tunnock’s ever since the referendum, some fifteen months before the launch of its ‘unpatriotic’ advertising campaign:

“Why is people only just (now) doing this? I’ve not bought anything from them since they came out as ‘No’.” “Never bought another Tunnocks product since Indy and never will again.” “I’ve never eaten anything made by Tunnock’s since the referendum.” “They supported a #No vote. That’s all you need to know.”

But other Scottish nationalists felt that calling for a boycott of Tunnock’s products did not really make sense. According to an editorial in The National (which pretends to be a newspaper but is in fact something you wave while your Saltires are away at the dry cleaners):

“What the whole episode really shows is how pro-Unionist campaigners moved quickly to condemn those who called for a boycott and made it not about those fringes but the whole pro-independence movement.

The truth is you never hear Yes campaigners calling for a boycott. Not really. You hear the crazed loons on the fringes of social media.”

Unfortunately for The National, comments posted beneath the editorial revealed that a fair number of its own readers were Tunnock’s-boycotting “crazed loons on the fringes of social media”. And they did not like being called “crazed loons”:

“Those ‘crazy loons’ you are referring to will soon see that ‘The National’ is just another unionist newspaper dressed in a kilt. I have till now bought Tunnocks, I won’t from now on.” “How about that? I’m a ‘crazed loon’! And proud of it!”

“I have been told I was being extremist for boycotting all papers except ‘The National’. Now ‘The National’ is saying I am on the lunatic fringe for boycotting a confectionery product. Hmmm.”

“If ‘The National’ thinks I am a loon because I choose to no longer buy a product, their product is now also one I no longer wish to buy.” “Be very careful who you call ‘crazed loons’. We are AT THE MOMENT supporting this paper.”

“Wow. This is bizarre from ‘The National’. I will boycott Tunnocks as is my choice. I can justify this in a completely rational way(!!!) and I would encourage others to do likewise. I am not a crazed loon on the fringes of social media because of this. However your opinion piece is more deserving of such a description.”

It is doubtless true that only a minority of Scottish nationalists support an actual boycott of Tunnock’s. But the call for a boycott is certainly a microcosm of the overall nationalist mindset and method of political ‘argument’:

– Ignore basic facts: The lion rampant has not been “ditched” by Tunnock’s. It is very visible on the Tunnock’s packaging in the advert. And the expression “Great British teacake” is a humorous take on “Great British Bake Off”, not an assertion of national identity (insofar as teacakes have a national identity).

– Ignore inconsistencies: Such as denouncing millionaires who donated to the ‘No’ campaign for interfering with a country’s democratic decision, but not making the same denunciation of millionaires who donated to the ‘Yes’ campaign.

– Ignore reality: 55% of the electorate voted against independence in 2014. 45% voted in favour. “55” is a bigger number than “45”. (And the current price of a barrel of oil is $35. “35” is considerably less than the SNP-promised figure of “117”.)

– Invent an insult to the Scottish nation (in a particularly aggressive and self-righteous tone – because, although you lost in 2014, you are the ‘real’ spokesperson of the nation): A self-confessed Tory millionaire who voted ‘No’ has dared to remove the symbol of the medieval Scottish monarchy from his teacakes branding!

– Invent a conspiracy theory: Too tedious quote verbatim, but it runs as follows: Tunnock’s has not Britified its teacakes as an advertising gimmick but in order to make pro-Unionist propaganda. (“The reality is that Boyd Tunnock was quite explicit about the packaging changes being intended for the purpose of promoting a unionist message.”)

– Sacrifice workers’ interests on your nationalist altar: A boycott of Tunnock’s, if it ever took off, would cost workers’ jobs (“We can only hope it puts him out of business.”) And unlike many SNP employers, Tunnocks actually recognises a trade union (Unite).

Sure, only a minority of Scottish nationalists are the kind of “crazed loons” who back a boycott of Tunnock’s (although, as The National discovered to its cost, there are a quite a lot of them out there).

But the ‘logic’ of the argument for boycotting a teacake contains all the ingredients of mainstream Scottish nationalism.

36 Comments

  1. kb72 said,

    The whole affair a demonstration of the embarrassing infantalism of Scottish politics at present. It was amusing in its black way. The cybernats cawing like corbies. Thanks for copying and pasting the affronted comments of the crazed loons.

    Stephen Daisley has an entertaining piece on the impoverished lives of the ever boycotting Natz.

    http://news.stv.tv/scotland-decides/analysis/1337949-stephen-daisley-on-the-cybernat-boycott-of-british-tunnocks-tea-cakes/

    If a Nat wants to boycott Tunnocks tea cakes but is really addicted I’ll do it for him/her. I can’t stand them.

  2. Political Tourist said,

    Personally i prefer Caramel Wafers.
    Btw if the cybernats are the crazies of Scottish Nationalism, i wonder what the rightwingers running SLAB think of the AWL.

    • Kim Yung Eck said,

      PT. You are one of them Nat si nutters. You even pretend you are a socialist while supporting the right wing Tartan Tory SNP. Choke on yer caramel wafer.

      • Political Tourist said,

        There’s the SNPBad coming from all sorts that still support SLAB.
        Then there’s the crackerjacks of Scottish Unionism that get their Brit Nat Union Jack knickers in a twist well over just about anything.
        If it isn’t hating the SNP it’s slapping Jim the Tim Murphy in George Square.
        Tut tut, how ungrateful.

  3. John R said,

    At $35 a barrel, “Oor Oil” isn’t even having wafer thin profits whereas the profits from the delicious, thin wafers of Tunnocks are going from strength to strength!

    • kb72 said,

      Oh the “oil is just a bonus”. The main economic stay of an indy Scotland is really going to be Tunnock’s tea cakes, black bun and shortbread. They are less volatile commodities and you aren’t competing with Saudi Arabia for their production.

  4. Glasgow Working Class said,

    PT, what a closet bigot you are. Murphy is your pretend excuse. You and your fellow Nat sis Tartan Tories detest Murphy because he supports the Union. You cannot understand why a fellow Tim is a Unionist😂😂

  5. Political Tourist said,

    A Better Britain – Unionist Party sound a tasty bunch.
    Obviously looking around for the Ukip/BNP Scottish kailyard bigot vote.
    Combined Ukip/BNP vote at the last Euro elections in Scotland was a 168,000.
    Even the Scottish Socialist never got that in the heyday.
    Certainly enough to get you one or two MSPs in the Edinburgh Parliament.

    I wonder what the Grand Wizards in the Ludge will say.

    Problem something a bit saner than the rubbish the tartan AWL comrades are posting.
    Ferderalism to Tunnocks Tea Cakes.
    How embarrasing does it get.

  6. Political Tourist said,

    A Better Britain – Unionist Party sound a tasty bunch.
    Obviously looking around for the Ukip/BNP Scottish kailyard bigot vote.
    Combined Ukip/BNP vote at the last Euro elections in Scotland was a 168,000.
    Even the Scottish Socialist never got that in the heyday.
    Certainly enough to get you one or two MSPs in the Edinburgh Parliament.

    I wonder what the Grand Wizards in the Ludge will say.

    Probably something a bit saner than the rubbish the tartan AWL comrades are posting.
    Ferderalism to Tunnocks Tea Cakes.
    How embarrasing does it get.

  7. John R said,

    “THE Orange Order has given its backing to the SNP in protest over Labour-run Glasgow City Council’s radical new policy to reduce parades.”

    Wow, amazing!

    In 2011, the Orange Order gave tactical support to the SNP against Labour in the Holyrood Elections over the latter’s Parades policy in Glasgow.

    Obviously, this shows that the SNP are, ultimately, the “Scottish National Protestant” party with the Orange Unionist Establishment being their Puppet Masters! Their aim being to split the Labour vote along National lines!

    Tunnocks are part of this being the extreme right wing “Tea Cake Party” faction in all this.

    http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/13030273.SNP_gets_Orange_support_in_protest_at_Labour/

    • Political Tourist said,

      Of course there’s never been any connection with SLAB and the Ludge.

  8. John R said,

    A Fifth Columnist Quisling has been spotted eating a Tummocks Tea Cake!

    If you recognise this man get in touch with “Boycott Tummocks” campaign for a reward of a deep fried square sausage.

  9. Political Tourist said,

    AWL, seriously Tea Cakes.
    Shouldn’t you be out getting rid of those right wing Labour MPs in Scotland.
    No hold on, there isn’t any.

    • Jim Denham said,

      No: just right wing SNP’ers.

      • Political Tourist said,

        Well most of those rightwing SNP MPs must have been voted in by ex Labour voters.
        Explain that.

      • Jim Denham said,

        In exactly the same way the Tories won this time: false consciousness.

  10. Political Tourist said,

    Seriously, false consciousness!
    That’s how AWL pass the events of May 2015 off in Scotland.
    Just shows just how out of touch some on the left can be.
    And the AWLs own policy on Scotland is Federalism.
    Or was Federalism just a figleaf to cover your complete lack of understanding at what’s going on?
    A 100 years of Labour Party down the river in one day because of false consciousness.
    Soggy Oggies right enough.

  11. Steven Johnston said,

    I’d rather be a traitor to a country than a traitor to my class😉

    • Political Tourist said,

      The Labour Party is the party of labour.
      Even if the Liberals are more leftwing Labour is the party of the working class.
      AWL paper years ago.
      Unless it’s 2010 and the AWL is standing against Harriet Harman.
      Class traitors indeed.

      • Steven Johnston said,

        Stop it PT please, LOL. Labour is not confined to any one country, the working class exist in every nation!
        The Labour party works withing capitalism and, like all the other political parties in the UK, manages British capitalism.

  12. Political Tourist said,

    So maybe the AWL could explain what they mean by Federalism rather than nonsense about tea cakes.
    Seriously this is supposed to be left wing intellectuals in the Scottish Labour Party, rather than some sort of barking BNP/Ukip/loyalist/Rangersy front with a WordPress blog.
    Dale Street seems to have been left behind in a side street in Coatbridge.

    • Political Tourist said,

      Or was it Ayrshire.

      • Dale Street said,

        “So maybe the AWL could explain what they mean by Federalism rather than nonsense about tea cakes.”

        The article is about the call for a boycott of teacakes because the call for a boycott of teacakes tells you something – in fact: quite a lot – about the politics of Scottish-nationalist activists.

        The “nonsense about teacakes” is not the article. The “nonsense about teacakes” is the call to boycott them.

        It’s a pity, but not surprising, that in 11 (eleven) posts in this thread ‘Political Tourist’ has not once addressed the points raised in the article.

        Instead, there is only the incoherent sub-political abuse which characterises the kind of people who advocate a boycott of a teacake. And that too is revealing of their politics.

  13. Political Tourist said,

    Labour’s message to YES voters.

    Your thick.
    Your stupid.
    Your too poor.
    Your Separatists.

    Please vote for us.

    • kb72 said,

      My message to YOU

      You’re thick
      You’re stupid

      Now pop down to Uddingston to the Tunnocks factory:-

      Scottish Resistance is organising a demo!
      Thursday 1pm at Tunnocks, Uddingston
      Pack your thermos flask and shortbread.
      https://www.facebook.com/events/1732852363611673/

      • Political Tourist said,

        Will you be the one standing across the street waving a Union Jack?

      • Steven Johnston said,

        Surely people can see through this parody of Scottish nationalism!

  14. John R said,

    Dreadful news for the Scottish Resistance.

    Mars Bars are an “Official Partner of the England Team”.

    I guess it’ll be deep fried Snickers on the Stagecoach bus to the Tummocks Demo, then.

    https://www.facebook.com/Marsbar/

  15. Steven Johnston said,

    Will you be the one standing across the street waving a Union Jack?

    Nah, that is one of the 3 flags the modern left don’t wave, along with the Stars and stripes and the Star of David, any other flag and hell yes!

    • Political Tourist said,

      Makes you wonder what SLAB would describe as oddballs in their own party.
      Wouldn’t be trot entryists by any chance.

      • Glasgow Working Class said,

        Trots are like dolly mixtures. Different colours and shapes with the same taste.

    • Glasgow Working Class said,

      Steven it is the Union Flag. Only the Jack on a ship/boat.

      • Political tourist said,

        You mean the Butchers Apron?

      • Glasgow Working Class said,

        The Jocks were always good with the bayonet before and after the Union. Och Aye.

  16. Pat Hughes said,

    How embarrassing!! Lot of bitter comments. You all need to get a job and contribute to your country. Tunnocks expanding and looking for workers. This is still a free country. You have the right vote how you wish but no right to interfere in anybody elses vote.

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