Charlie Brooker: Total Farage Plus

January 7, 2015 at 2:05 am (Europe, fantasy, funny, Guardian, Jim D)

Charlie Brooker is unfailingly amusing and his return to the Graun is a welcome surprise. Let’s hope he maintains a regular column, if only to counteract the malign, or at least annoying, effects of public school Stalinist Seumas Bloody Milne. Brooker’s G2 page/column yesterday had me laughing out loud – especially this:

Nigel Farage has accused the Government of

Photo: Reuters

Total Farage Plus

As 2015 dawns, Britain seems more divided than ever. But there’s one thing we can all agree on: we just don’t see enough of Nigel Farage. Sometimes you can eat an entire Twix without seeing a photograph of him raising a pint and guffawing or hearing his voice on the radio. Total Farage Plus is a tiny chip almost painlessly inserted into the back of your mind using a knitting needle and a croquet mallet. Once in place and booted-up, it hijacks the signal to your visual cortex, skilfully Photoshopping Farage into whatever you’re looking at. Enjoying a glorious sunset? It’ll be even better with Farage’s face peeping over the horizon. Bathing your kids? Nigel’s here too, with a cheeky blob of bath foam perched on his lovable nose! Staring into the eyes of the one you love? That’s not your own reflection gazing back at you – it’s Farage. Kicking a foreigner to death? Who’s that standing beside you, delivering the final blow with his steel-toe boots, real ale sloshing from the pint he’s still holding in one hand, a lusty guffaw bursting from his wobbly amphibian throat? It’s Farage again! What a card!

9 Comments

  1. Mike Killingworth said,

    I enjoy CB too. Must try to do more shopping on Tuesdays (you don’t think I’m going to pay for the Grauniad, do you?

    Must admit I never expected you to post a picture of Garage, or at least not such a benevolent one. By the way, are those all his own teeth?

    • Jim Denham said,

      Mike: I can assure you that my choice of photo to accompany this piece was not intended to be “benevolent” in any way whatsoever…

    • ZINR said,

      Benevolent? He looks like the prize twat that he is. No expert lighting, make up or context could make him look otherwise.

      The sight of him makes me feel slightly nauseous…

  2. Rosie said,

    Farage has spoilt drinking pints in pubs for me now.

    • ZINR said,

      Well that’s reason enough for him to be exiled to deepest Siberia.

      By the same token George Galloway has put me off cigars for life…

  3. findiagroup said,

    Thanks for sharing!

  4. Boleyn Ali said,

    “What a card”!

    That got sub edited

  5. damon said,

    While he is funny, like with Stewart Lee, I find him a bit too smug and obvious. It’s always going to be easy having a go at Farage.
    A big mistake though is when you (for instance) say that you thought that James O’Brien’s ”demolition” of him on LBC was a radio highlight of the year – like some woman in the Spectator did.

    http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/culturehousedaily/2014/12/kate-chisholms-radio-top-five-from-2014/

    I said why I thought that was rubbish in the comments.
    Yes Ukip are pretty terrible. But it’s a protest vote and there’s plenty to be unhappy about. Including immigration, but more so against the dreadful PC left …. Like that James O’Brien fellow.

  6. Glesga Keeping Scotland Free From Loonies said,

    Time to get out of the EU. Farage is right and speaks for the thinking British majority. Pity he is a Tory but you have to give the man some credence for saying what the majority want.

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