Recession Prolemockery

July 30, 2009 at 2:44 pm (Max Dunbar, media, Tory scum)

The Daily Mail goes to Poundland:

There is a floating frog pondlight that is as far from a Wow Deal! as imaginable and something that I thought were Star Wars light sabres, but are actually plastic solar lights. I’m not the only shopper to be confused by them.

‘Solar lights? Wot for? For night-time?’ one woman asks another.

‘No, they are for day.’ ‘Why do you need a light in your garden in the daytime?’

‘Well, you can only use them if you are in a sunny country, anyway.’

Speaking of the night, you know those gangs of girls who plague our city centres on hen outings? Now I know where they buy their stuff.

Poundland is the kind of shop that can supply all your hen night needs, from a white net veil with two pink shot glasses on the side and a sign saying ‘I’m Tying The Knot, Buy Me A Shot’ to a Husband Control whistle, a Fluffy L Plate, pink cowboy hats and pairs of pink fluffy gloves, complete with very precise instructions on how to put them on the hands.

I found that last detail rather poignant; as if the manufacturers were worried the girls might put them on their feet.

Read the whole thing, if you can stand it.

We know the Tory press has a contempt for the common man. But it’s rare to see this expressed so explicitly.


(Thanks: Anton Vowl and Edmund Standing. Image via Septicisle)


  1. Bruce said,

    Anton Vowl was the hero (in the English translation at least) of Georges Perec’s novel that doesn’t have any ‘e’s in it.

    Just thought you’d like too know.

  2. Bruce said,

    After that show of almost erudition, I forgot to say that I do shop in the Poundland in Manchester Arndale. Good for chocolate bars, shampoo and, my favourite, cheap pens and notebooks.

  3. maxdunbar said,

    Yeah I was in the Salford Precinct Poundland yesterday and may well be there today.

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