A brilliant analysis of Death Metal English:-
Big, polysyllabic words: You don’t have to use them correctly; you just have to use them…
Adjectives: In Death Metal English, they’re like guitar solos. You aren’t using enough. Add more.
Progressive tense: Especially useful for song titles. “(Verb)ing the (noun)” is also a great default song title, as in “Cloning the Stillborn,” “Infecting the Crypts,” and “Christening the Afterbirth.”
My favorite thing about Death Metal English is that it isn’t subject matter-specific. Of course, it works best when you’re talking about Satan, or Lovecraft, or murder or whatever. But you can turn pretty much any phrase or sentence into fodder for a sick death metal song using the same tropes:
Normal English: “Commuting to work”
Death Metal English: “TRANSPORTATION OF THE WAGEBOUND UNTO THE NEXUS OF PERPETUAL QUOTIDIAN ENSLAVEMENT”
. . .
Normal English: “I need to take a nap”
Death Metal English: “RIPPED INTO THE UTTER EXHAUSTION OF THE MIDDLE DAY” . . .
Normal English: “You have to mow the lawn”
Death Metal English: “BRING DOWN THE SCYTHE OF GODS UPON THE NECKS OF THE GREEN-RIBBED LEGIONS AND SWEEP AWAY THEIR WRETCHED BODIES; THOU ART IMPLORED BY ME”
On our streets taxi, bus and lorry drivers and cyclists have an uncomfortable relationship. In Edinburgh a piece of dangerously inept road design united taxi drivers and cyclists in protest, and this union of shared interest was presented as a kind of Ribbentrop pact.
Bella Bathurst’s The Bicycle Book had one chapter where cabbies spilled their dislike of cyclists. – for getting in the way, bending their wing mirrors and scratching their doors as they do that cyclist’s slither along the roofless tunnel that motorised vehicles create.
In London “around 50% of all cyclist deaths involve lorries, which comprise only about 5% of traffic, with a high proportion happening when left-turning trucks crush cyclists.” Construction lorries are the main culprit.
The London Cycle Campaign has an arm that attempts to improve co-existence between lorries and cyclists. One simple method is for cyclists and lorry drivers to change seats. Cyclists sit in the cab and note the restricted view of a lorry driver. A friend of mine. a London cycling commuter, tried this, and said it was an eye-opener, seeing where the blind spots are. London councils offer their drivers a day on a bicycle to widen their understanding of what a road is like for a cyclist.
This kind of thing is obviously better than professional drivers’ and cyclists’ relationship being that of giving each other the finger and swearing.
The London Cycle Campaign also gives advice on how cyclists should drive near lorries. Their advice confirmed my instincts – when I see one of those big bastards I don’t go near them. I give them all the road in the world to get away from my space.
At the moment street design in the United Kingdom means cyclists and motorised vehicles having to share busy, fast streets. Cyclists and the professional drivers are together in wanting to be apart. There have been six deaths of cyclists in London in a fortnight, about which Unite put out a statement:-
Unite, Britain’s biggest union, which represents London’s bus and taxi drivers, is calling on Boris Johnson to take urgent action to stop the tragic loss of life on the streets of the capital.
The union is urging the Mayor to invest, as a matter of urgency, in safe and effective cycle routes, separated from other road users to reduce the practice of cyclists using the capital’s congested bus lanes.
The number of cyclists on London’s streets has trebled in recent years, but the Mayor’s infrastructure strategy and spending policy is nowhere near enough to cope with the influx and is wholly inadequate.
“Our bus driver members have been deeply affected by the tragic loss of life on our roads, and recognise the vulnerability of cyclists vying for space on London’s increasingly busy roads.
“Boris Johnson’s spending policy for cyclists is lagging behind reality. The Mayor and his cycling commissioner Andrew Gilligan have a lot to answer for, following their deeply inappropriate and insensitive comments. Their blasé remarks show utter contempt for the health and safety of all road users.
Jim Kelly, Unite taxi representative, said: “Unite’s bus and taxi driver members report that in many places the Mayor’s blue Cycle Super Highways are not fit for purpose – a bit of blue paint is simply not enough to keep cyclists safe.
“Urgent action is needed to develop a safe cycling network that takes cyclists away from the capital’s busiest and most congested thoroughfares. An example of good practice can be found in Cable Street East London, where cyclists have a route segregated from traffic – a safe alternative to the busy Commercial Road.”
Meanwhile the London Cycling Campaign is “calling on the Mayor to redesign every major junction in Greater London to make cycling a safe, comfortable and convenient experience for everyone, and is demanding he take immediate action to address Cycle Superhighway 2 from Aldgate to Bow. “
More than a 1,000 cyclists blocked traffic as they lay in the road outside the Transport for London (TfL) headquarters tonight to protest recent road deaths.
Here’s the vision of an infrastructure presented by Boris Johnson and Andrew Gilligan, his cycling commissioner:-
The present blue painted lines are presumably supposed to be a step towards that urban paradise, but they contain shocking sections at present. Follow this link to a video which shows how bad a place it is at the moment, and looking at it, with the segregated paths being in short chunks that disappear at junctions, I wouldn’t cycle that for £1000.
Another video shows how the Dutch, who are the cycling gods, manage their infrastructure. There are different light phases for cyclists. There are rights on uncontrolled crossings for pedestrians and cycles, and clear sightlines for lorries. What makes me really envious are the safe busy roundabouts, which are my greatest fear. Oh, note that the red-light jumper is a British lorry!(2:29).
These aren’t mock ups. They’re pictures of actual people using safe infrastructure in actual cities
Full Moon Club style DIY punk ethic music night. Expect everything from seasoned professionals to brand new talent. With a bit of experimentation thrown in.
6pm til midnight.
Back room: The Bucky Rage, Sad Society, The z28s, Babylon Dub Punks, Desperation A.M., FRAKtured Fingers, Ugly Baby, The Phlegm.
Front room: Rodney Relax and NUSS, Tommy MacKay, Liz Cronin, Freeloadin’Frank, Etrange, and Kirsty Kennedy.
£5 before 9pm, including veggie haggis, neeps and tatties. Food finishes at 9pm, £3 door.
212 Cowgate, Edinburgh, EH11NQ
I’m playing at this gig. My band, FRAKtured Fingers, is on at 7:30.
Universities UK (UUK) has issued guidance on external speakers saying that the segregation of the sexes at universities is not discriminatory as long as “both men and women are being treated equally, as they are both being segregated in the same way.
”UUK add that universities should bear in mind that “concerns to accommodate the wishes or beliefs of those opposed to segregation should not result in a religious group being prevented from having a debate in accordance with its belief system” and that if “imposing an unsegregated seating area in addition to the segregated areas contravenes the genuinely-held religious beliefs of the group hosting the event, or those of the speaker, the institution should be mindful to ensure that the freedom of speech of the religious group or speaker is not curtailed unlawfully.
”We, the undersigned, condemn the endorsement of gender apartheid by Universities UK. Any form of segregation, whether by race, sex or otherwise is discriminatory. Separate is never equal and segregation is never applied to those who are considered equal. By justifying segregation, Universities UK sides with Islamist values at the expense of the many Muslims and others who oppose sex apartheid and demand equality between women and men.The guidance must be immediately rescinded and sex segregation at universities must come to an end.
Initial List of Signatories:
A C Grayling, Philosopher
Abhishek N. Phadnis, President, London School of Economics Atheist, Secularist and Humanist Society
Anissa Helie, Academic
Charlie Klendjian, Secretary of Lawyers’ Secular Society
Chris Moos, Secretary, London School of Economics Atheist, Secularist and Humanist Society
Deeyah Khan, Film Director and Music Producer
Dilip Simeon, Chairperson of the Aman Trust
Faisal Gazi, Writer and Blogger
Gita Sahgal, Director, Centre for Secular Space
Harsh Kapoor, South Asia Citizen’s Web
Helen Palmer, Chair of London Humanists
Kate Smurthwaite, Comedian and Activist
Marieme Helie Lucas, Coordinator, Secularism is a Women’s Issue
Maryam Namazie, Spokesperson for One Law for All and Fitnah
Mina Ahadi, International Committee against Stoning
Nadia El Fani, Tunisian Filmmaker
Nahla Mahmoud, Spokesperson of Council of Ex-Muslims of Britain
Pavan Dhaliwal, Head of Public Affairs of the British Humanist Association
Peter Tatchell, Director of Peter Tatchell Foundation
Polly Toynbee, Journalist
Pragna Patel, Director of Southall Black Sisters
Richard Dawkins, Scientist
Rohini Hensman, Social Activist
Rory Fenton, President of The National Federation of Atheist, Humanist and Secular Student Societies of the UK and ROI
Rupert Sutton, Lead Researcher of Student Rights
Terry Sanderson, President of National Secular Society
Yasmin Rehman, Women’s Rights Campaigner
The Scottish Government has announced a welcome increase in cycling investment in the 14/15 draft budget – but funding drops again in 15/16 and in any case is nowhere near enough to meet the government’s own ambition for 10% of all journeys in Scotland to be by bike by 2020…
What is needed for investment in cycling and active travel as a whole in Scotland, and how can we campaign for that? Find out what’s happening and get your ideas over at our autumn public meeting…
Alison Johnstone MSP - Co-convener of the Scottish Parliament Cross-Party Cycling Group, initiator of the Parliament’s first ever debate on cycling and a Spokes member. Alison will chair the meeting and hopes to take back to the Parliament ideas and enthusiasms from the meeting.
John Lauder - Director of Sustrans Scotland. John will summarise their current work with Councils and other bodies across Scotland, and what could happen if (or when!) government funding for cycling reaches European levels
Sara Dorman - a Pedal on Parliament organiser, Spokes member and a public representative on Edinburgh City Council’s Transport Forum. Sara will talk from a PoP perspective on the need for greater active travel investment and what it could achieve.
Tom Ballantine - Chair of Stop Climate Chaos Scotland and board member of Scotland’s 2020 Climate Group. Tom will outline the SCCS campaign for a doubling of Scottish Government active travel investment from 1% to 2% of the transport budget in 2014/15, rising to 10% by 2020 so that the meeting can discuss what we can all do to push for change
When, Where, What
Date: Tuesday 19 November
Time: 7.30 – open 6.45 for coffee, stall, exhibition and chat
Venue: Barclay Viewforth Church, Bruntsfield Place, Edinburgh
As the Team’s Head- Brass
As the team’s head-brass flashed out on the turn
The lovers disappeared into the wood.
I sat among the boughs of the fallen elm
That strewed the angle of the fallow, and
Watched the plough narrowing a yellow square
Of charlock. Every time the horses turned
Instead of treading me down, the ploughman leaned
Upon the handles to say or ask a word,
About the weather, next about the war.
Scraping the share he faced towards the wood,
And screwed along the furrow till the brass flashed
The blizzard felled the elm whose crest
I sat in, by a woodpecker’s round hole,
The ploughman said. ‘When will they take it away? ‘
‘When the war’s over.’ So the talk began –
One minute and an interval of ten,
A minute more and the same interval.
‘Have you been out? ‘ ‘No.’ ‘And don’t want to, perhaps? ‘
‘If I could only come back again, I should.
I could spare an arm, I shouldn’t want to lose
A leg. If I should lose my head, why, so,
I should want nothing more…Have many gone
From here? ‘ ‘Yes.’ ‘Many lost? ‘ ‘Yes, a good few.
Only two teams work on the farm this year.
One of my mates is dead. The second day
In France they killed him. It was back in March,
The very night of the blizzard, too. Now if
He had stayed here we should have moved the tree.’
‘And I should not have sat here. Everything
Would have been different. For it would have been
Another world.’ ‘Ay, and a better, though
If we could see all all might seem good.’ Then
The lovers came out of the wood again:
The horses started and for the last time
I watched the clods crumble and topple over
After the ploughshare and the stumbling team.
In Memoriam (Easter, 1915)
The flowers left thick at nightfall in the wood
This Eastertide call into mind the men,
Now far from home, who, with their sweethearts, should
Have gathered them and will do never again.
Hundreds of people will gather outside the St Andrews House government offices at 1.00-1.30pm on Weds 30 October to call on Finance Secretary John Swinney MSP, the man in charge of the 2014/15 Scottish budget, to double investment in walking and cycling. Be there!!
The event is organised by Stop Climate Chaos Scotland, an umbrella body for over 60 Scottish organisations including environment, community, faith and international development groups, trades unions, student unions, and of course transport and cycling groups such as Spokes, Transform and Pedal on Parliament.
A similar SCCS event two years ago marked the turning point in a successful campaign by Spokes and many other organisations to reverse severe active travel cuts which the government had included in the draft 2012/13 budget.
This year the draft budget for 14/15 does include a welcome rise in active travel investment but it is nowhere near adequate to meet the government’s ambition of 10% of all trips in Scotland to be by bike in 2020. There is growing cycle use in Edinburgh, but, for Scotland as a whole, only 1% of all trips are by bike (around 2% of work trips). Furthermore, under the draft budget, cycling investment peaks in 14/15 and starts to fall back again in 15/16.
outside St Andrews House
EH1 3DG Edinburgh
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
1 – 1.30pm
I thought his Berlin too glamorously decadent for words, and Walk on the Wild Side had a real sweetness and warmth about people who most would have regarded as depraved deadbeats.
By the jeering tone, I’d guess that the makers of the video think it’s unreasonable for a cyclist to cycle where cars go. “The privileged are most privileged when unaware of their privileges.”
I have to take issue with Jim D’s post on the so-called “Plebgate”.
Although it is less shallow than the common wisdom at the time which subjected the incident to a crude class analysis, it still missed what this incident demonstrates about the deeper structures of our society.
The crude class analysis went:- Mitchell is a toff, toffs are arrogant sods and therefore Mitchell must have called the boys in blue livery (sudden class victims) “plebs”. Many of these commentators have now withdrawn this, and have seen the event instead as an indication of corruption in the police force. Chris Mullin took this line from the very first.
Those who suspected right from the beginning that Mitchell’s treatment had been unjust and unreasonable were the cyclists. as shown in this discussion:-
“Why couldn’t he ride his bike through this gate when other ministers can drive their cars through it?”
“I would also be most put out to have to dismount and use a stretch of pavement instead of a perfectly good road, considering that if I’d arrived by car I could have driven in.”
“The claim is that he has previously cycled in and out of the downing street road entrance and on this occasion he was directed to the pavement gate and blew his top.
Thinking of older footage of Dave C etc cycling into downing street showed them continuing along the road with an open gate.”
“If my reading of the reports is correct, he’d been in and out of the main gate on his bike previously several times that day, and was only on that occasion told to dismount and go through the pedestrian gate.
While I do not for a moment condone abusing a police officer, I think I understand the reaction of being pissed off with someone who one perceives as acting as a “jobsworth”.
“Bad news on this one. Jeremy Vine has just announced that this will be one of the 4 stories on his Radio 2 show this lunchtime – from the angle “is this story about how everyone, including the police, hates cyclists?”.”
The cyclists recognised an act of oppression for what it was and nailed the role of the police, who are always the Praetorian guard for the ruling establishment. As anyone with half an eye and a quarter of a raised consciousness can see, the ruling establishment of our societies are drivers and their automobiles, whose control is shown in every aspect from the shape of our cities to conflicts about oil. They dominate our world, not just with their aggressive presence in the streets but also with their collateral – the parking buildings and supermarkets with vast parking spaces, the motorways and the commuting sprawl in the countryside. They are overwhelmingly there, in full tarmac and asphalt.
You can tell a ruling class by its reaction to anything that encroaches on its privilege. A painted cycle route, permission to join taxis and buses in lanes closed to the private car , more money spent on cycling infrastructure are met with the same howls of indignation and thwarted entitlement that capitalists have always greeted a tax increase or Factory Acts. The police saw Mitchell as a cycling upstart, asking for the right to use a route designated to his superiors and were as ready to suspect him as a bunch of black guys in a leafy neighbourhood. Then they fitted him up.
It is no coincidence that most of the commenting classes disbelieved Mitchell since most of the commenting classes go about in cars, and there is an overwhelming hostility towards cyclists. Their anti-cyclist bigotry was glaringly obvious – and like all bigotries, led to blindness about an individual case.
A sane society would appoint Andrew Mitchell as Minister for Transport. Instead it questions his integrity and harries him from his job.