Return of Geordie Tintin!

October 19, 2011 at 6:41 pm (Art and design, cinema, Guardian, Jim D, Sheer joy)

“Coming out of the new Tintin film directed by Steven Spielberg, I found myself, for a few seconds, too stunned and sickened to speak; for I had been obliged to watch two hours of literally senseless violence being perpetrated on something I loved dearly. In fact, the sense of violation was so strong that it felt as though I had witnessed a rape. I use this comparison not as a provocation or to cause unnecessary offence: I am using it in honour of a very good joke made by an episode of South Park, in which the cartoon’s children watch the final Indiana Jones film and are so traumatised by what they have seen that they go round to the police station and try to get Spielberg and his colleagues charged with the crime. “What they did to poor Indy. They made him squeal like a pig.” The tragic irony of this is that it was Hergé himself, Tintin‘s creator, who, a few weeks before his death in 1983, anointed Spielberg as his preferred director to make a Tintin film; and this after he had seen, and loved, as we all do and did, the first Indiana Jones film.”

Stephen Spielberg’s film version of Tintin has not gone down well, especially with Nicholas Lezard; they should have hired the late Mr Will Rubbish (a distant relative of Monsieur Jelly) to do the job, Geordie-style:

12 Comments

  1. Jenny said,

    He’s kind of forgetting the racism too though:http://perelebrun.blogspot.com/2011/10/tintins-list.html

  2. Jim Denham said,

    Lezard notes the racism:

    “The books grew in sophistication: Tintin’s first appearance in 1929-30 was a black-and-white rudimentary anti-Soviet potboiler, little more than propaganda; there then followed a trip to the Belgian Congo, which is childishly but still blush-makingly racist (yet still hugely popular in the post-colonial country); yet by the final completed work, Tintin and the Picaros (1976), Tintin is sporting a CND symbol, and helping, albeit with reservations and only on condition of non-violence, a group of not-quite-explicitly leftish guerillas gain power in a despotic Latin American country. It’s a long learning curve.”

  3. this is another, yes that's right ANOTHER, super special guest posting from the one, the only bLL.ereggg coiommementayrer said,

    Talking of raysism, this poyst is clearly raycist – every1 knOWs thath tintin is frerm the Teeside area not GordieLAnd. Do all North Eastern EnglishERs soond the same to you JIKM?

  4. Monsuer Jelly est Formidable said,

    Aye – Smoggy Tin Tin is more accurate — is hard for furrens from doon sowth to werk oot wor finely tuned northerN vocalisations and wor differneces in dialect and that, hence the confusion and that.

    • martin ohr said,

      There’s a natural line which runs from liverpool through manchester sheffield and onto grimsby; I’ll still have plansto raise an army for independence for the North based on this border. We’ll end up with all the good music, writers, artists, decent beer and cheese and a labour government; the south will get 35 million rude, miserable, pushy tory voters and not a lot else.

      I had to go down to that London yesterday, what a dump – no wonder southerners are so angry all the time.

      • Monsuer Jelly est Formidable said,

        yes Martin. that london is utter toss innit? over-rated, bowis johnson voting, (“appeles and pears look! it’s that funny man off the telly – we shud all vote for the floppy haired fucnny man”) thick cuernTs.

  5. Jenny said,

    Re reading this, I think the writer is slightly overatatched to the comic. Did this all really “rape” his childhood? Really? I still kinda wanna see it because I personally like peter Jackson and Simon pegg. I can’t tell If you’re posting this for Tongue and cheek purposes or what.

  6. Rosie said,

    In fact, the sense of violation was so strong that it felt as though I had witnessed a rape.

    No it didn’t – you saw a film that mucked around with a book/character you loved. It pisses me off too, when a book I love is adapted and traduced by some tin-eared idiot – Andrew Davies’ version of The Woman in White is my example – but it isn’t like witnessing a rape.

    “Rape” as a metaphor used to be used in huge serious contexts – the “rape” of a city that’s been destroyed by enemy forces, say. It’s started to be used trivially. I suppose it’s going to be used of crap cover versions of favourite songs eg “George Michael really raped (i.e made a rubbish version of) “Brother can you spare me a dime,”.

    I mean why doesn’t he make the metaphor a bit more edgy and interesting. “It felt as though I’d witnessed the rape of my 12 year old daughter,” say.

  7. Clear the runway, a guest poyst from belorleg ocmemntearter is about to land! said,

    I agree. The innovation of the rape metaphor in that instance was both frivolous and facetious.

  8. DC said,

    Using rape as a metaphor for a film you didn’t like is fucking sickening.

  9. DC said,

    At first I assumed you’d missed the mention of rape in the quote and that an apology would soon follow. Now I’m beginning to wonder if you’re genuinely indifferent as to how offensive this post is, on what should have been a light-hearted topic.

  10. Monsuer Jelly est Formidable said,

    shud be on Iplayer if you missed it:

    Tintin’s Adventures with Frank Gardner

    BBC Two, 8.00pm

    Frank Gardner OBE, who was left paralysed after being shot by al-Qaeda sympathisers, was inspired to become a foreign correspondent by his boyhood hero Tintin. Now, to mark his own 50th birthday and Steven Spielberg’s new Tintin movie, Gardner explores the early “lost story”, Tintin in the Land of the Soviets. This propaganda potbolier was published in 1929 before disappearing for decades. Gardner follows in Tintin’s footsteps, from Belgium to Russia, transforming his wheelchair into a bike and racing the very classic car from the book. En route, he uncovers evidence that Herge’s fiction was actually based on fact. MH

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